Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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