I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
