North Korea, Best Korea!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
