We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
