They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
