Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
