OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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