booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
