It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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