her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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