Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
