just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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