shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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