i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
