): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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