Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
