well you can't waste a boner
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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