So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
