question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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