i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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