I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
