apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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