White coat. Heels.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
