Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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