Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
