Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We have so much sex to catch up on
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
