im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
COCAINE IS GR8
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
