I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
