nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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