remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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