i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
