I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
