Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
