I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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