its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
