They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
