my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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