It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
