i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
