also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
