If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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