you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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