i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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