ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
