Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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