my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
