I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
