we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
