And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just cropdusted the office
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
