I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
