I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Did I show you my penis last night?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
