Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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