just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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