ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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