You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
