Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
