today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize