hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He passed out mid-signature
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize