Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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