I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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