i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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