So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
