I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
