Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
