sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
