oh god the rape fog is back!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
