I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
