Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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