This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sorry my hands just texted you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
