when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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