She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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