Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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