I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize