SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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