Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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