You just made me feel so damn special
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
