i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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