What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize