I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
